ranty mcRantpants

There are a few things I've seen just one too many times online and I'm sick of seeing them. Hence the rant.

1) "I'm so excited I just pee'd my pants!"
Seriously? How old are you? Why in the world would anyone want to exclaim to the world that they have so little control over themselves and their bodily functions that merely getting excited causes them to lose control in such a spectacularly embarrasing way? Add "I just threw up in my mouth a little" to the same vein of disgusting exclamations over how extreme their feelings are about any one subject. Why in the world can these people not learn to express themselves in a better way? Urgh.

2) "I hope I haven't offended anyone" or any of the myriad variations on this theme.
Quite frankly, if you aren't offending someone you're probably not doing much of anything so why take up anyone's time with whatever the hell it is you're doing? There is always going to be someone out there who is just looking to be offended by something or someone. Those people thrive on being offended. Don't pander to them.
This goes hand-in-hand with the unfortunate tendency of women who feel it necessary to cushion ANYTHING they say with a little apologetic smile. Don't even get me started on that one. Why in the world do women (you don't see men doing this) feel they must cushion everything they do which *might* be interpreted in a negative way with that little "I don't really mean it/I hope I don't make you mad/etc..." smile.

Stop it. Just stop it. Try to be someone who means what they say without apologizing for it. Seriously.

In conclusion let me say ... I hope I've offended someone today